Today’s episode examines the thought process behind knowing when to end a relationship or not. How many times can we forgive someone after a transgression? How many chances should one get? Maybe you think your relationship is devolving into more of a friendship. Is this just a season of my life? Join Colter, Cayla and Lauren as they discuss the struggles of making a decision that sometimes might feel impossible and gain some valuable tips that will help you make that choice.
Key Discussion Points:
- The Struggle: It’s not so simple… it’s hard in two ways! Are you self-protecting, and think you are ending things too quickly? Maybe you don’t want to feel like a fool, maybe you want to avoid pain. On the other hand, maybe you’ve stayed too long. “This” is better than nothing, right? Or are you buying time?
- Attachment Dynamics: We all crave familiarity. Even if it’s negative, like rejection or abandonment. Are we attracting someone (even friends!) that make us feel like we can “fix” something damaging from our past? Will staying in a toxic relationship fix “me” because I fixed “it”?
- Non-Negotiables: We focus so much on wants, but what are our needs? Do we have the personal capacity to manage the moments that stress us out, or do we dysregulate our coping mechanisms that eventually make us stay? We discuss our personal values and how they come into play when we don’t know how to take the first step and leave.
- Our Window of Tolerance: Our patience levels can impact how much we tolerate any situation. Every person can only take so much, especially if the other party is not doing the work. Maybe you are making the changes needed for a healthy relationship, but are they? We discuss how individual boundaries come into play, and how everyone tolerates their partner differently when those boundaries are crossed.
Ultimately, this is a decision only you can make. Our hope is that you gained some insight and workable tips and tools that you can implement into your thought process when you are feeling stuck and unsure of what to do.
